Fear is a familiar battleground
I've been training in it since I was an infant
--I don't even remember
but my mother tells me
at first, I cried in my crib
watching my father leave
fist-sized black patches
on her chest
pulling myself to my feet
by the rails of my cage
though I couldn't yet walk
and then as the years passed
I learned
the more I cried, the longer
he pounded, spurred by the sounds from my throat
because he confused
passion with anger
power with anger
strength with anger
love with anger
I learned silence
served me better in the presence
of a predator
stalking his hunting grounds
vibrating with fury
I learned to breathe through the fear
and walk silently
on padded feet in the dark
I learned to swallow the panic
and I learned to
sleep in terror
to breathe in terror
to endure terror
Fear is a familiar battleground
and while I choose not to run
in the face of fear
while I force myself
to jump head first into battles
while I aspire to live a life of usefulness
I do not relish
prolonging the torture-
I am human, too
-and while fear is a familiar battleground
and while I choose to stay entrenched
(because the world is flooded with fear
and there are people
who don't know how to stand
in the flood)
I do not want it in my home.
