try to contain your glee
at the prospect of flushing
your first
or second
or third
or any IV
I know you are excited to hold
in your hands for the first time the IV tubing
because now you feel like a real nurse
and your brain is ticking through
the list of bulletpoints
all of the steps for a flawless first run
because you will double check
and triple check in your head
and that IV will purr and drip perfectly
You are here to learn and execute procedures perfectly
So let me educate you that the stop-start
technique for flushing a central line with 10cc's of saline
is hell on earth for me.
It does not taste "salty" or "like saline"
it tastes like you zested the bitter white rind of a lemon
and served it with four ounces of Windex
shaken not stirred.
And I am already so sick of life
the medical shows like House, and Critical, and The Knick that used to
amuse me so in the past are unbearable for me now.
In the end, when it is the worst I just
cannot think or fight or reason,
which is why when you are a nurse you are an advocate
and that doesn't mean just being loud--
which, let me tell you,
you all need to shut the fuck up when you are charting or giving report, and
yes, I am talking to you, night shift,
your sick, exhausted, nauseated, in agony patients are trying to will themselves to hang on 10 more seconds.
Nobody cares about your problems--
your patient already had 99 of them
and you do not need to be the 100th--
please!
Advocacy does not mean being loud.
It does not mean ask, "What do you need?"
it means you best know what your patient needs
It means anticipate
that maybe right after chemo infusion
your patient may be calling you because of nausea so run
do not walk.
I know you're tired, shit, I am more tired than you, but I'm still here, so
use your brain.
Solve the problem before it becomes a problem.
Try to put yourself into my shoes.
You see me here heaving do you not?
Perhaps instead of asking "Do you need another basin?"
run for whatever
PRN antiemetic anxiolytics you got on hand
and if you don't have anything else
call the doctor and tell them to order something
and for fuck sake
make it IV-push.
These are the worst days of my life,
knuckles white in agony,
thrashing in the bed
in so much pain you cannot form a thought
and you are part of this
and I will remember your face forever,
so try, try to imagine what it's like to be me, and try to move heaven and earth for me
because you might be me,
and I may be you one day,
and you'd want me to do that for you.
