You are so
brave
incredibly strong
inspiring
I wonder what you would think
if you could see me now
viciously sniffing back snot
wiping tears with displaced malevolence
towel stuffed between teeth to muffle the cries
sitting on the edge of the tub
shaking
shaking
just can't stop shaking
like a dog, cowering
staring at the porcelain pit
fighting the ball of fear-or is it vomit-
and rocking to silence the voices in my head
like prayers on a rosary
I don't want to do this
You have to
I can't
You must
Get it together
Please, don't make me
I cannot do this
One
More
Time
