"I wish I had your inner strength
to deal with everything you've had to
this last year."
My friend said this last night.
The thing about strength is
it doesn't exist.
Yes, we qualify strength--
muscles
mettle
mental endurance
yet no amount of strength
can overpower
the ocean
the fire
the plague
or cancer.
I have learned that
life decides when to kill us,
dragging us to the edge,
letting us scramble back.
Each time we think
in our egotistical, ignorant way
that we defeated it,
that we beat it into submission,
that we had a choice in the matter,
that we had any control whatsoever,
Life is laughing,
swirling a glass of cabernet.
Life has no respect for who you are
or what you have done
or what you hope to do
or could do in the future.
She does not cooperate.
It is the greatest fallacy
that we tell ourselves
we are strong enough
or fast enough
or smart enough
because you can't outrun
something that is .0004 microns
or something that spontaneously
grows inside of you, out of you, made from you.
